New Baby, New Emotions: Signs You Might Need Support After Baby Arrives

Written By Katlyn Morrison

In honor of Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, it is the perfect time to talk about all things mental health after having a baby. Everyone wants to believe that everything is all sunshine and roses once the baby is born. For some, that is the case, but for others, postpartum can feel like a nightmare. 1 in 4 women will experience postpartum depression. Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, physical recovery from labor, and psychosocial changes such as a major shift in identity, all play a role in the chances of onset for a Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder (PMAD). So while not every mother will experience a PMAD, it is not uncommon to do so. Just know that you are not alone, and your body is going through a major shift after birth. The onset of any mental health disorder during the fourth trimester is not your fault, and help is available to support you in managing your symptoms and overcoming this difficult time. 

Let’s dive into all of the ups and downs of the postpartum period, whether that’s feelings of joy, exhaustion, or even the less than desirable effects of postpartum such as depression and anxiety. Whether you are the birthing parent or the partner of the birthing parent, this can help you to reflect on what you are feeling or seeing, and decide if reaching out for help would be the best option. 

There are several indicators that it might be time for additional support for moms during the postpartum period. If any of these symptoms last longer than 2 weeks, it is time to consider reaching out to your provider. Whether the symptoms present as mild or severe, there is help available. 

  • Feelings of sadness, depression, or emotional distress lasting longer than the “baby blues” period, more than ~2 weeks after the baby is born.

  • Difficulty bonding with baby. While this can be normal for a period of time, if it persists past a couple of weeks it may be time to reach out to your provider. 

  • Persistent sadness, anger, irritability, or numbness.

  • Anxiety that is occurring the majority, if not all, of the time. This can also look like panic attacks.

  • Fear around being left alone with baby.

  • Racing thoughts.

  • Changes in sleep that are not due to baby being awake - inability to sleep or sleeping too much; struggles with falling or staying asleep.

  • Distress around not being a good mother.

  • Difficulty concentrating or struggles with memory.

  • Severe mood swings, paranoia, or hallucinations (these are possible signs of postpartum psychosis).

  • Intrusive thoughts - e.g., fears of harming baby or self, even if unwanted. (Below are a list of numbers to call for access to immediate help).

Whether you are experiencing one or two of the symptoms listed above, or a wide range of them; whether they are manifesting as mild or severe, reaching out for help is always in your best interest. One of the ways to do this is by making sure you go to your 6-week postpartum check-up with your doctor. The 6-week check-up is often the only medical care a mother will get for herself after the baby is born, so using this time to let your provider know what is going on is vital. This appointment will screen for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), sleep issues, as well as your physical recovery from delivery. Attending this check-up also allows for your doctor to recommend any on-going care that may be needed whether that is mental health services, follow ups with your primary care physician, or even referrals to specialists such as pelvic floor therapists. Partners or a close support person are always encouraged to attend this check-up with you to provide your doctor with an outside perspective. Sometimes it can be hard to see what’s really going on when you’re in survival mode, just trying to keep your baby healthy while also physically recovering from wear and tear of bringing them into the world. They can also be there as just a moral support if that is what you need. So ensuring attendance to this appointment may be one of the most important things you do for yourself after giving birth. 

While at your 6-week check-up it is so important to be honest with your doctor. Admitting what you are feeling or thinking can feel scary or intimidating. It is normal to feel nervousness around potential shame and judgement. However, your provider is there to listen to you and help you, not pass judgement on what you are experiencing. Also, anything you say, just know they will have heard before. You will not be the first person to go through the struggles of postpartum, no matter what that may look like for you. Keep in mind that your provider can only help you if you are honest with them. If they do not know what is going on, they cannot make the correct recommendations and get you the help that you need. Opening up to your provider can lead to necessary referrals for therapy, support groups, medication, etc. So if you need help being honest with your provider, bring your partner or friend along to help navigate those topics. Remember, honesty with your provider ensures the safety of both you and your baby. 

Here are some statements that can help get the conversation started while meeting with your provider:

  • "I've been feeling off since the baby came, and it's not getting better."

  • "I'm having a hard time bonding with the baby."

  • "I'm more anxious than I expected, and it’s interfering with daily life."

  • “I feel sad all of the time.”

  • “I’ve been having thoughts that are scaring me.”

Don’t let your postpartum symptoms control your life and this time with your new baby. Help is available. Getting support early can make a significant difference in the overall health and happiness of you and your whole family. Therapy is a safe space to process the major life transition of becoming a new parent, the pressure parenthood presents, changes having a baby can bring into your relationships, birth trauma, and so much more. Take back control of your life.

At Ember Wellness & Counseling we offer specialized services around pregnancy and postpartum for mothers and partners. Reach out today to get started on your journey. 

Emergency Numbers:

If you or someone you know are experiencing thoughts of hurting themselves or their baby contact 911 or one of the numbers below.

  • Text HOME to 741741 for crisis and emergency support from anywhere in the USA

Resources:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6992410/ 

https://www.apa.org/topics/women-girls/postpartum-depression 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/perinatal-depression 

Katlyn Morrison
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